choices.

Well. It's been quite a while since I last posted. I'm home for summer and missing my California life like crazy. Being home has made me realize so many things. And as time goes on, I wish I was back at school more and more.

I've realized something. The reason I like school and my life there so much is not because I'm 1,100 miles away from home and I can do whatever I want. It's not because I have no curfew. It's not because it's sunny in California and has been rainy here at home my entire first month of my so-called "summer." The reason I am so content with Chapman is because it was my choice.

For the first time in my life, I was able to make a major life decision. And luckily I made a good one. But really. I did it, on my own, no one else made that decision for me for once. I realized the reason my friends are so much closer to me is because I chose them also. In a way I guess they were meant for me. But basically I chose them when I chose Chapman.

Ever since I was little, my choices were made for me. My school, my camp, my food, my extra curriculars, and in a way, my friends. Had my parents not chosen my school, I wouldn't have become friends with the people at King's. By choosing Chapman, I paved the way for the friends I made, the life I am now living, and I'm so grateful for it. I already understand why people call it "the best years of your life" and I still have 3 more years to experience what college has to offer me.

I mean, don't get me wrong, it's had its fair share of downs in the up & down rollercoaster. But honestly I'm grateful for it all. Anything rough or shitty I've ever gone through has made me a stronger person, and once the smoke has cleared I've always made it through. All I ever need to do is pick myself off, dust myself off, tell myself I'm worth more than how I feel at that moment, and move on with a slightly damaged heart and move on toward the path of recovery, and positivity. No one ever gets anywhere in life being negative, and it may seem that negative people get further than you in life, but they aren't happy, so there's no way there anywhere near you.

I've learned a lot the past year, and I've been inspired by so many people and things. But life goes on and it's time for a new chapter of my ever-written book I get to call life.

For now, I will try to make the best of my situation and keep my head up.