baby steps.

So things are starting to look up right now.

Everything that I’ve been complaining about, or at least stressing about in my life, seems to be getting better.

First of all, the ex and I are on good terms. I had to help him all day cuz he was really sick. And although last night we had a long talk about how its gonna be hard, and tears were shed, I can tell things are gonna be good. I think we’re just better as friends. It’s gonna be hard still, mostly for him, to treat this as just a friendship, but I think, or at least hope that it will work out. After hanging out with him for several hours yesterday I realized I like being his friend more than anything.

It's not going to get better or back to normal instantly, just baby steps.

Then, there’s the issue of my involvement in school activities. Whether that was with Gamma Phi, or just school stuff in general. I’ve been feeling really detached from everything and it was getting really hard to see the point of being all the way out here, away from my friends and family and my whole life back in Seattle. I felt super detached, mostly Gamma Phi, and being to doubt whether or not it is all worth it; being at school, or in Gamma Phi or whatever. But now, things are looking up. I’m getting more involved with G-Phi, and even with school stuff. Well, at least with FCA, which is a cool group and I can tell it’ll be a good thing for me to be involved with. It’ll be kind of like a youth group, and definitely something I need. And I might be joining to worship team, or leadership team, which would be cool (either of those). So that’s really fun.

But it's not an instant change, just baby steps.

Which brings me to my next positive; Lent. I’ve decided to give up facebook and soda for Lent. And both are going to be hard, I know. But I’m still going to do it. Facebook is a no-brainer on why I’m giving it up for Lent. Kalie put it best when she said, “How many times a day do you just have random free time and instead of going to God, or reading the Bible, you go to facebook and just waste time.” SO ya. I’m hoping to change that “time-wasting” into God-time, or Bible-time, or even homework time because I’m planning on good grades this semester. But just to sum it up, I'm giving up facebook because it's a time-waster in my life & not a necessary thing. And then there’s soda. The reason I’m giving it up is because, one, it’s not good for me, and two, because, although I’m not giving up caffeine entirely, I depend on soda to give me caffeine (aka energy) during the day. When, if i just opened up the Bible, or threw up a little shout-out prayer to God, I could get that energy I need from him. So we’ll see how this works out. Although I certainly have my coffee/some caffeine, I know soda will be a good thing for me. Because after it’s done, it’s going to be something that I’ll hopefully be able to stick to, and not just do it for 40 days and give up. I want to turn it into a long term commitment.

It starts with baby steps.

So there ya go, a little catch up on my day-to-day life.
Things are going pretty well. compared to the last few weeks.
I’m happier, I’m more relaxed, and I’m more optimistic about the future and just stuff going on in my life in general.
And I hope it stays this way because I'm liking it.
Liking it so much more than the stress and pain I felt the last several weeks, because it was breaking me down slowly.

So yep. I'm definitely going to start keeping up with this blog more now that I don't have facebook.
I have another blog, but that's turned into more of a diary/rant page for me. And I don't really want other people reading it, even thought part of me does.

So there ya go!

Peace!

Love, Kenzie :)